Was it a stroke of luck?“You’re lucky.” It’s a phrase I’ve heard often since my stroke—lucky to have my sight, lucky to have avoided more severe deficits, and lucky to be here.
I don’t feel lucky about what happened. But I do feel grounded in gratitude for the path of healing I’m on, for the people walking beside me, and for the ways this experience continues to shape how I see myself and the world. This blog is where I make sense of that journey in real time—through story, reflection, and the quiet work of rebuilding. |
 What Happened January 30, 2025
I met one of my survivor sisters in the hotel fitness center and joined her for a 1-mile walk on the treadmill. I explained how I hadn't been on a treadmill since my stroke so she was aware of my concerns. I felt safe, was clipped in just in case, and away I went. It was great, so less scary than I had built up in my mind. I would've walked further, but the repetitive noise of my treadmill (it had some mechanical thudding) started to wear on my brain, so I switched to a bike. I am super thankful for the companionship and support to be brave, giving the treadmill a try. Why it Matters Whenever you start a physical therapy program, you get asked about your goals. Usually, I'm in PT for a specific reason, and as we start to make progress and reevaluate the goals, I have on more than one occasion mentioned that I am afraid to walk on a treadmill. I have some unresolved trauma from being on a treadmill in acute Rehab that required me to be in a harness, suspended from the ceiling in case I were to fall. All of those videos of people losing their footing and crashing into walls or scraping their faces on the treadmill belt probably sat in the back of my mind too. So, I had respectfully stayed away from the treadmill in case my attention wandered and if I were to close my eyes while walking, which was how I pre-stroke walked on the treadmill, lord only knew what might have happened. No more what ifs; I conquered a 4 1/2 year fear.
Some people give me a funny look if I say, "Happy New Year!" this late in the month. But I’m firm in my belief that ifI haven’t seen you yet, I can wish you well anytime in January when our paths first cross. Our cards are just landing, and so far, no sassy replies (yet). I almost skipped sending cards this year because life got a little hectic, but I didn’t want to let the circumstances stop a 24-year tradition. If I ever decide not to send cards, it’ll be a conscious choice. Seriously though—we may be close, the kiddo will be 25 this year. Time flies!
The original title of this post was: "Where the frick have I been the last six months?!" I’ve been updating my website this weekend, and as I reluctantly dove into the blog section, I was surprised to realize it’s been over six months since I last posted. At first, I felt the need to explain myself, but then I remembered: who’s really reading this anyway? I’ve been busy, distracted, hibernating, working on great things, working on nothing, doing a whole lot of stuff, and a whole lot of nothing. Most importantly, I’ve been healing and living, and honestly, I owe no one an explanation. So, with all that said, I wish you all a very happy and healthy 2025! |
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