Chapter 3: Healing 
Day 18: How do you show up for yourself during hard times?

Showing up for myself in hard times is almost automatic at this point. When faced with adversity the first thing I do is stop to assess the situation. I look for firm ground in which to steady myself and I think about the next steps. It's always about what's next and not hanging out too long near the issue, problem,  pain, etc. That moment is used to understand and acknowledge. I show up in the ways that help me decide to move forward.  You do choose that.

Chapter 3: Healing
Day 17: What do you need to forgive yourself for? Write the first step towards letting go.​

​I really try not to live with regrets. I guess I should forgive myself for not giving Maya enough. I really tried for her life to not be impacted by our separation but that was naïve. Of course it would impact her and that's OK. I should've allowed it to happen, given myself a lot less stress and let her build her resilience. Maybe the first step is figuring out how to tell her all of this. When and where... timing is so important.

Chapter 3: Healing
Day 16: Revisit a time you felt the most disconnected in your life. What happened? How did it impact your thoughts? What lessons did you learn from it?

The most the most disconnected I've ever felt is over these past few years. I feel disconnected from my body and my life in many ways. I think the most obvious is the out of body feeling for the past two years due to the neglect and extension along with my left side. Less obvious is the emotional disconnect I've felt - it's a distance that has been hard to notice sometimes and I bet it makes me seem either self-centered or insensitive. It's hard to remind yourself to feel or to reach out to your emotions .I've been made to feel like a shittier version of myself. I've learned I need to check in more and be slower, to give time to brain connect more than body connect.  I really miss the body connection.

Chapter 2: Self Love
Day 15: Write an encouraging letter to your younger self.

Hey Tania -
Just a quick note to let you know you're resilient and are capable of so many amazing moments if you pay attention to where you are and live in that moment. Be mindful and stay present - it will serve you well.

Keep your eyes fixed forward no matter what happens and keep pressing on - you'll get through it, I promise. Just one word of caution - don't get too tough.  It takes a while to thaw and you might miss opportunities to connect with people.  
❤️☮️ Me

I do feel very loved - least of all by me.  I only say that because I feel distant from myself. It's just that less than sparkly look in my eyes, the weird smile...my arm. My body parts just don't totally feel like they are mine yet.  I'm not sure 'the world' is aware. If they are, perhaps they'd see me as less hesitant and more open. Today I sit a little guarded.

Chapter 2: Self Love
Day 12:  Where do you feel most blocked? What small thing can you do today to release that?

I feel most blocked @ home  - in New York. I just don't think it's a place of growth for me. Since it's still home 50%+ of the time I need to release myself from feeling blocked - I just don't quite know how. For now, looking for a CO home feels like a priority.