One of the amazing opportunities we were given as class survivors was attending the Red Dress Collection concert at Jazz at Lincoln Center on January 30. It's taken me a few days to process everything, not because of the physical toll, but more the mental exhaustion. I tried my best to honor my body’s needs those days in NYC, but the environment was full of stimulation. The crowds, the sound, and the implicit pressure to be “on” felt overwhelming at times. I definitely felt an obligation to be present and do my best to engage, but it wasn’t always easy.

The trip into NYC on Wednesday took an unexpected twist when I was invited to participate in a radio show out on Long Island—a great opportunity put together by the local AHA team. The conversation lasted an hour, but the almost two hours of traffic on the way back were definitely draining, and I knew I had a long evening ahead. That evening, we had a welcome reception at Manolo Blahnik on Madison Avenue, which was lovely. It was an intimate event where we were incognito, blending in until we gathered for a group photo. I enjoyed watching the other women strut their stuff in high heels, but for me, it felt a bit like I was on the outside. I wear boots or sneakers to fancier events because that’s what my body can handle. I can’t feel the bottom of my left foot, and I need stability around my ankle—so high heels are not my thing. But that’s okay; it’s my reality, and I’m okay with it.

From there we attended the Impact with Heart event at the Ailey Studios. As soon as we arrived, I could tell it wasn’t the right environment for me—too much sensory overload. The music, which sounded rich and deep was too intense for me. I could feel the energy, but it didn’t feel right for my body. So, another survivor and I decided to leave and head back to the hotel, making a quick stop for pizza on the way. I was thrilled when she agreed to split a white pizza with me—I hadn’t had one in years, and used to love it, but not so much anymore. It was a small moment of calm in the midst of a busy day...  stay tuned for Part 2 of this post.

I am from Swatch watch.
From Jordache and the Electric Company.

I am from the red corner house on a
busy hill with cars bottoming out.
(The smell of metal scraping blacktop carried across the porch on a summer breeze).

I am from the maple tree blanketing our yard
and suffering on a rocky beach sitting under tall trees 
with competing boom boxes and coolers full of meat and beer.

I'm from sit down as a family dinners
and a lack of communication.

From Elsa and Luis.
I'm from the protection of older brothers
and the generosity of extended family.

From my house, my rules and don't talk back.
I'm from our father who arte in heaven every night
​and CCD every Sunday.

I'm from New York by way of my family's journey out of Cuba.
From cafe con leche, frijoles, and flan

From the ischemic stroke that made me a survivor, a warrior
on 8 August, 2020.

Looking back, today it's been 8 month's since the stroke.  I think about that morning often. I imagine it would have been disorienting to have help of any kind in the condition I was in, but Covid added an extra layer. Suddenly, men in what I remember to be gas masks came into the room where I was slumped on the floor. They came from behind me and I don’t remember how they identified themselves. One was in front of me and the other was to my right. I know they asked me questions. I don’t remember what they asked, but I think I was able to answer them. My arm was still moving on its own. The man in front told me to stop moving my arm. My arm did not listen to his orders.​​

You can say I started this blog in August, but the truth is I just started writing things down. I actually began building this site in January and it has been a steady work in progress/failure - mostly failure. I don't remember things being so complicated. I've had WordPress blogs in the past (The Multi-tasking Mama) and they've made sense to me. So I tried creating a WordPress blog.  I guess it was not enough experience to draw from my memory.   Learning new things right now is confusing and challenging. It just never went anywhere.

So then I realized there are new sites out there - like Wix.  Who hasn't seen a commercial for Wix and how easy it is to build a site.  While it's easy, in theory, but it didn't make sense to me. So again I created a few wicks sites.  Each one just ended up getting messy. If you think about mixing colors, there's a point where things look okay and then almost suddenly too much happens and everything just turns a gross grayish-brown and there is no coming back.

It just got super messed up and unrecognizable from the template that was started. So I'd make a new site.  I remember reaching out to Maya, after I had made three sites in a row, and explaining the problem.I She immediately advised me to stand down and told me she would help me. It was probably something like, "Mom, stop making more sites".  So Maya had made her own website during her freshman year at school, and she's very comfortable using Weebly. So, that is why my site is on here.  She asked me what I wanted, what pages I needed, and in each page asked me what I wanted to use it for. She put it all together she created all of the templates.  Then she helped me understand what I needed to do and how to bring in the different elements. So yes, in theory creating a blog is easy. I think the first thing to know is what you want to write about, and then getting your kiddo to actually get it built.