Chapter 1: Gratitude 
Day 8: List three things you appreciate about your body and how it supports you.
Three things I appreciate about my body are

1. ​My Brain - it might be broken but it is still so capable and I am forever thankful for its wanting to improve and for having the time to work on renewing the connections. It might be easier not to think highly of this lump in my head but I know it is still very worthy.
2. My Breath - it sustains me and where I can regulate myself more, if I tried. I appreciate that my breath reveals what sometimes I fail to see.
   
3. My Hair- it makes me feel like myself.
   

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Chapter 1: Gratitude
Day 7: What brings you joy? 

JOY. I I'm not sure how that feels in my body or brain at this present time. I think this is one of the shortest prompts yet the toughest question. In my mind what brings me joy is quite different than feeling joy. I think seeing others happy and making space for people to be authentic maybe that's what brings me joy.   Being authentic and having an genuine experience with others makes me feel joy.

Chapter 1: Gratitude
Day 6: Name a skill you’re good at. How do you feel when you are performing that skill?
It's playing pickleball! WTF?!!?  In some crazy way I'm really good at it and I love to play.  Playing pickle ball was the first time I felt alive and whole in my body.  Games and physical sports require different mental energy and I'm into it.
These videos were taken 11/20/21.

Chapter 1: Gratitude
Day 5: Name a few people who keep you grounded. In what ways do they show up for you?
The people who ground me are:

• Rob accepts me, all of me, and understands the many ways I can come off the rails 
• Maya also sees me and has never dismissed any of my neuro-divergence even when she doesn't quite get it
• My therapist is an amazing professional who bridges so many worlds
• My well-being coach is just awesome - she's positive, realistic, and sees so much in sometimes very little detail
• Stevie (not a person, but she still counts) just her body, her breath, her non-zoomie pace are all what it takes to calm and ground me

Chapter 1: Gratitude
​Day 4: What is something you have now that seemed like a wish back then? How do you feel knowing that you have it now?
​It's really challenging to think about a prompt like this beyond the obvious two-year window. I appreciate this is forcing me to look at the bigger picture. Something I never thought I would have is a healthy relationship. I seemed to be in a pattern of being with men who were immature and were not very aware of my needs. These were passionate and toxic patterns. Now I am partnered with the kindest human. I say partner very purposely,  we are a team.  We have very unique and complementary personalities and skills that allow us to experience life and tackle life's problems together. Rob makes me feel safe, centered, and valued. He cares so deeply, I can see how hurt he can feel. I love him in a way that I've never loved.

An added note: On July 25, 2023 it will be 10 years that we've been together - so many great adventures, so many milestones, celebrations, and supporting each other through profound losses. I feel exceptionally fortunate to have found each other once-upon-a-time in the taping section.

Chapter 1: Gratitude
​Day 3: Write about the last memory that made you happy. What does it feel like in your body?
​Since my memory and my emotions are out of whack it's not easy to think about the last memory to make me happy. First, I need to think about how I register happiness in my current state.  Do I laugh? Smile? Do I even notice happiness? Looking back these past few months: OCT - hard work, stress | SEPT - trip out west, stress | AUG - stress... | JUL - stress... There's a theme and not sure how to break the cycle but I hope the FMLA helps.

I'm not going to say it's the last time because I've been happy in small moments riding alongside stress like Maya's birthday lunch and watching her play corn hole with my father; juxtaposed to just arriving cross-country or  seeing new and old friends at CATESOL; juxtaposed with going out on leave - you get my point.