Was it a stroke of luck?“You’re lucky.” It’s a phrase I’ve heard often since my stroke—lucky to have my sight, lucky to have avoided more severe deficits, and lucky to be here.
I don’t feel lucky about what happened. But I do feel grounded in gratitude for the path of healing I’m on, for the people walking beside me, and for the ways this experience continues to shape how I see myself and the world. This blog is where I make sense of that journey in real time—through story, reflection, and the quiet work of rebuilding. |
 Self-talk is the internal dialogue we have with ourselves. It’s normal to engage in negative self-talk because the brain is wired to pay more attention to negative rather than positive information, which is heightened after a brain injury. Addressing Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS) through positive thinking/self-talk is important to interrupt self-limiting thoughts that undermine our ability to heal and thrive. It's not about ‘looking on the bright side’ or convincing ourselves everything is okay. It’s a tool for showing ourselves some self-compassion.
Q: What’s one positive outcome of your brain injury that you maybe didn’t expect? It may seem odd but I actually believe there are a number of positive outcomes. First and foremost, I have never been as tuned in to myself as I am today. I have a heightened awareness of my body, how it functions, and how to most positively engage myself. I've learned a great deal on the importance of self-care and how to be okay with making my health (physical and mental) a priority. I've developed a more steady stream of self-kindness and have been able to witness my on-going resilience.  Realistic optimism reinforces the belief that progress comes with effort & learning new approaches to challenges. It's our ability to acknowledge obstacles without getting bogged down; seeing opportunities to work towards what’s possible.
Q: What’s one challenging outcome of your brain injury and how are you growing from it? I think one of the most challenging outcomes are my issues with executive functioning - the skills that help me plan, focus my attention, remember instructions, and manage multiple tasks. It's forced me to be in the moment much more than I've ever been. Despite hitting many road blocks these last 3 years, I've always kept hope that things could improve (even slightly) through hard work and learning/using new strategies. I feel fortunate that I've never limited myself to where I currently sit, instead I've been able to imagine and work towards what might become possible. I've become really good a workarounds, and leaving myself open to observing and appreciating the journey.
Q: Share an intention that’s important to you right now and how do you use it in your daily life to support your healing or wellbeing?
An intention I lean into right now is, I can stop. "Getting better" is sometimes misleading. What does that look like? What does that feel like? For me it often matched up with doing more - a slippery slope towards overdoing which could easily turn into neurofatigue with longer-term effects. I don't need to do... I don't need to be busy. I can stop. Q: Share an “I am” statement that reflects your intention/how you want to live your life right now. I allow myself to relax. I am curious. I can wait.  In mindfulness you pay attention to your present thoughts, emotions, sensations, and environment with curiosity and kindness - without interpretation or judgment.
Q: How does mindfulness show up in your life? Learning about mindfulness has made me aware how much I ground. Through mindful meditation I’ve been able to improve my attention and focus. It’s allowed me to shift away, but return… not always chasing the random thoughts. The LYB guided meditations are amazing as they are developed for people with brain injury so there are no extra sounds; they are simple and clear to follow - not too wordy :)  This week I began a 6-week LoveYourBrain (LYB) Yoga Mindset program as a participant, the role in which I began. I purposely chose the session because the facilitator is amazing. I was pleasantly surprised to find myself sharing space with someone I took the same program with previously and 2 folks from the mindfulness programs that I facilitated. I'm so very excited for these next 6 weeks.
Q: What’s one thing that has helped you become more resilient? Resilience is the "capacity to remain flexible and adaptable while facing life's challenges." If I consider my relationship with resilience I think about many moments that could have 'broken me' but didn't - like my grandmother dying in my arms, my almost 10-year marriage ending, the subsequent family court proceedings, the stress of being a single-parent, and my brother's death. I didn't know I was resilient until I learned about it after the stroke, during my first LYB session. I know helping others has in turn helped me tremendously and becoming a mindfulness facilitator has been an incredible learning experience. During this session a perspective I'd given during my facilitation of the program was shared as a tool for positive mindset. There are no good versus bad days, instead there are good days, and recovery/restorative days. It's all about giving yourself a little grace and understanding that any time you're doing what your brain and body need is a GREAT day! I am from Swatch watch. From Jordache and the Electric Company. I am from the red corner house on a busy hill with cars bottoming out. (The smell of metal scraping blacktop carried across the porch on a summer breeze). I am from the maple tree blanketing our yard and suffering on a rocky beach sitting under tall trees with competing boom boxes and coolers full of meat and beer. I'm from sit down as a family dinners and a lack of communication. From Elsa and Luis. I'm from the protection of older brothers and the generosity of extended family. From my house, my rules and don't talk back. I'm from our father who arte in heaven every night and CCD every Sunday. I'm from New York by way of my family's journey out of Cuba. From cafe con leche, frijoles, and flan From the ischemic stroke that made me a survivor, a warrior on 8 August, 2020. I'm Later this month I will be trained as a mindfulness facilitator for the Love Your Brain foundation. This piece was written as part of the pre-work through a Skill in Action practice from Michelle Cassandra Johnson's book, Skill in Action. The template was based on George Ella Lyon’s poem "Where I'm From".
The Animation was created using Doodly |
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