Was it a stroke of luck?“You’re lucky.” It’s a phrase I’ve heard often since my stroke—lucky to have my sight, lucky to have avoided more severe deficits, and lucky to be here.
I don’t feel lucky about what happened. But I do feel grounded in gratitude for the path of healing I’m on, for the people walking beside me, and for the ways this experience continues to shape how I see myself and the world. This blog is where I make sense of that journey in real time—through story, reflection, and the quiet work of rebuilding. |
 What Happened January 30, 2025
I met one of my survivor sisters in the hotel fitness center and joined her for a 1-mile walk on the treadmill. I explained how I hadn't been on a treadmill since my stroke so she was aware of my concerns. I felt safe, was clipped in just in case, and away I went. It was great, so less scary than I had built up in my mind. I would've walked further, but the repetitive noise of my treadmill (it had some mechanical thudding) started to wear on my brain, so I switched to a bike. I am super thankful for the companionship and support to be brave, giving the treadmill a try. Why it Matters Whenever you start a physical therapy program, you get asked about your goals. Usually, I'm in PT for a specific reason, and as we start to make progress and reevaluate the goals, I have on more than one occasion mentioned that I am afraid to walk on a treadmill. I have some unresolved trauma from being on a treadmill in acute Rehab that required me to be in a harness, suspended from the ceiling in case I were to fall. All of those videos of people losing their footing and crashing into walls or scraping their faces on the treadmill belt probably sat in the back of my mind too. So, I had respectfully stayed away from the treadmill in case my attention wandered and if I were to close my eyes while walking, which was how I pre-stroke walked on the treadmill, lord only knew what might have happened. No more what ifs; I conquered a 4 1/2 year fear.
Why it Matters
It had been a little over 7 months since my stroke. This was the first time I was being called on to really trust my body to coordinate in a dynamic way. I needed to leave the ground with symmetry, keep track of myself in space, then ‘stick the landing’ while maintaining my balance and stopping my momentum. I cried tears of joy afterwards. It may seem simple, especially since research says by 24 months, 50% of children can jump with both feet off the ground. I borrowed this from the same source: Jumping helps to develop leg strength and balance. It requires coordination of upper and lower extremity movements... Jumping is a building block for more complex movements, specialized skills, and general physical activity. What Happened March 7, 2021
Pretty straightforward I baked a birthday cake for my mom. If you unpack it and agree baking is a science, this was not easy. Cooking and baking are an amazing combo of PT, OT, and cognitive. You need to be in your body, coordinate your hands to do the work. You need to be organized, follow directions you need to read you need to work in a sequence. It's difficult, these were all skills I was working on in therapy. Why it Matters This was was the first time I did something for someone else since having the stroke. Stylistic is a term I learned in cognitive remediation that's to say is this something I would've done previously. In this case baking a cake for my mom would absolutely be something that I would normally do. It was a whisper of me and a glimmer of my new self’s capacity. |
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